The Right to [Sex] Education

We live in a scary world when it comes to kids and teens being exposed to sex, often much too early. This is most often through friends at school, internet pornography, or unfortunately, as is the case with one in three girls in Washington State, a traumatic unwanted sexual experience.[i] The problem is, despite the wealth of sexual health curriculum and teacher training available, school districts around the nation often provide either inadequate, or no information about sexual health for one simple reason – because state laws protect schools from having to do so. What’s even more frustrating is that many schools still teach an abstinence only approach steeped in morality. It’s not about making sexual health education a mandate, but rather recognizing it for what it is – a basic right that children in our society are entitled to.

As adults, we likely recall the cringe-worthy days of Sex Ed – where we were forced to watch embarrassing videos and learn about where babies came from. Those stone-age lessons about reproduction are long gone. As a former 5th grade teacher, I certainly didn’t expect that one of the most important units that I would teach was going to be Sex Ed (now called Family Life and Sexual Health – F.L.A.S.H.); Covering topics ranging from healthy boundaries in friendships, to gender fluidity and oppression of the LGBTQI community, F.L.A.S.H. goes far beyond the reproductive roles of men and women.

Simply because certain school districts refuse to teach sexual health education, or take an abstinence only approach, does not mean that those children will be immune from the onslaught of toxic information about sex that will be freely provided by their peers as well as questionable online sources.

As a teacher, I witnessed firsthand how damaging the opt-out decision could be for kids, even on an individual level. I can recall a specific instance in which one family in my class chose not to have their child participate. To their absolute horror, only two weeks later, the child’s mother and father were called into a mandatory meeting in the principal’s office to address their son’s behavior of “honking” girls’ breasts on top of their shirts while at recess. Needless to say, this behavior is absolutely inappropriate and violating to us as adults. However, this was not an adult. He was an 11-year old child who simply couldn’t understand the magnitude of what he honestly thought was a game – a game that he likely felt aroused by and had no idea why. (Yet another reason why we need to teach our children about appropriate touch/boundaries – not just assume that we can ignore their developing sexuality and that it will somehow magically sort itself out).

An incredibly sweet, respectful, and otherwise well-behaved student, I still remember this child sobbing as he received his first school suspension. His parents were dumb-founded and furious, while rumors quickly spread around the school. I was left wondering if he had simply received the lesson about healthy and appropriate touch that all of his peers had learned only a few weeks earlier, whether any of that would have happened in the first place. Not to mention that as a young Black male facing his first suspension, the potential implications of this “offense,” and the subsequent consequences, made it all the more frustrating and painful to witness.

If individual families want to opt-out of sexual education, that is their decision – and it will remain so regardless of what states or schools decide. However, that should only be a family decision to make. When entire states or school districts opt-out, this is a recipe for disaster. The U.S. National Institute of Health published extensive research that indicates that students who receive sexual health training are much less at risk for unplanned pregnancies and have a lower chance of contracting sexually transmitted diseases or infections.[ii] Yet every year, uninformed teens inevitably engage in risky sexual behavior, while not understanding the consequences of their actions.

I’m not saying that just because a child receives sexual health education means that they will always make healthy choices around sex – but sexual abuse, teen pregnancies, and sexually transmitted infections should not be the result of students lacking a basic understanding of human sexuality simply because their state or school district told them to “just say no” to sex.

We have an obligation to ensure the health, safety, and emotional well being of children in this country. In fact, we have made it a basic right in this country that all children have access to education.[iii] Depriving children of vital knowledge about themselves and their bodies violates this core principle. Consequently, by giving states and school districts the ability to withhold essential information, we are unleashing wave after wave of unwanted teen pregnancies, STIs, unhealthy relationships, and sexual abuse – while allowing “locker room talk” and grabbing women by the pu**y to be just another normal part of our society. 

[i] https://www.thestranger.com/news/2020/10/14/47141697/the-strangers-endorsements-for-the-november-2020-general-election

[ii] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3194801/ Stanger-Hall, Kathrin F, and David W Hall. “Abstinence-only education and teen pregnancy rates: why we need comprehensive sex education in the U.S.” PloS one vol. 6,10 (2011): e24658. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0024658

[iii] Article 26 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights states that “everyone has the right to education.”